Reciprocity
by Caddie
Summary: ZackCloud Until he met Cloud Strife, one thing that Zack Fair never thought he’d ever have a problem with was reciprocity. One-shot.


Title: Reciprocity

Disclaimer: Don't own it and unfortunatly, this is unbeta'd. I tried to catch all my mistakes and make this enjoyable to read.

Until he met Cloud Strife, one thing that Zack Fair never thought he'd ever have a problem with was reciprocity.

Cloud Strife was perfect, in every aspect of the word, if you asked Zack. Of course, Zack did exaggerate, 'cause Cloud wasn't perfect, especially when it came to his trooper training; too small and easily knocked back compared to other boys his age. But, Zack didn't mind. There were other important things in life, like his dream of being a hero – a dream that he and Cloud both seemed to share – and his puppy dog love for Cloud.

Because, really. Zack was smitten with the boy. Full out, would get down on his knees, wrapped around a finger, stupid grin smitten. Only, Cloud didn't reciprocate that emotion.

But there was sex. Something that Cloud didn't mind participating in. He reciprocated Zack's advance and allowed Zack to push him on to a messy bed where clothes had to be pushed out of the way to make room, to have his knees spread so Zack could tenderly caress naked creamy white thighs, and to have Zack just fuck him.

Zack would have given up the most mind-blowing sex with Cloud if it meant he would get those looks. Looks that were never directed towards him, but were always directed towards Sephiroth. It would make Zack's hands clench with envy every time Cloud's breath hitched just a little bit when Sephiroth walked by, only acknowledging Zack and Cloud with a nod. And Zack hated it. Felt guilty every time when Cloud's eyes would follow Sephiroth's form, because he wasn't supposed to be jealous of his friend – best friend, even and fellow SOLDIER.

Of course, Zack would feel guilty too for hating Cloud during those occurrences, like when the blond's eyes would light up at just the mention of Sephiroth. Guilty because Cloud didn't even know how Zack felt about him. Guilty because Zack was too much of a coward to actually tell Cloud how he felt, to admit that he didn't want the sex to just be casual between two friends, and scare Cloud away with a declarations of love.

Oh, yeah. Zack felt guilty. Zack wished Angeal was still around, 'cause a least his mentor would have a basic idea on how to approach his problem. Angeal would break it down in to itty bitty pieces, analyze it even, and if that didn't work, he'd just whack Zack upside the head and tell him to get on with it.

And what Zack really needed right now was a good smack of sense. Especially since he became even more love sick after great sex, or just sex in general, when it was with Cloud. And with Cloud's body still wrapped around his now, and his mind in such a muzzy state, Zack couldn't help but nuzzle Cloud's neck and whisper nonsense about training and praise and love against Cloud's still rapidly, now beginning to slow, beating pulse.

It was nice, and Zack enjoyed it, even though he was muttering nonsense against Cloud's neck, resulting in answering moans every now and then with Cloud pawing at Zack to prevent being used as a pillow. Zack liked the rumble that those moans made, and smiled stupidly and closed his eyes. It was nice to fall asleep like this, next to someone you loved.

Zack was startled awake by Cloud's moaning hours later. Cloud, though he wasn't supposed to, always managed to get away with spending the night at Zack's small SOLDIER apartment. Wide awake now, Zack tenderly ran a hand through Cloud's hair and kissed away presumed terrors. Cloud got them often, but Zack never minded being woken up by them.

A hand brushed its way down Cloud's warm side, and Zack smiled as Cloud pulled away from the coolness of his palms. This was enjoyable and Zack fully intended to take advantage of a moment where Cloud was easily putty in his hands, even if it was – and Zack looked at the clock on his metal nightstand – four am. Cloud didn't need to wake up until six, and Zack was just going to enjoy running his hands over the blond's supple body, in a way that Cloud never really allowed him to do while they were both awake. Zack enjoyed cuddling and touching and Cloud was asleep now and responsive to his touch after Zack soothed away the small whimpers that emanated from the blond's mouth.

The whimpers started again, frighteningly soft, and escalated in small, pleased moans minutes later as Cloud began to turn over to curl closer to Zack's warm body. Zack tucked a stray piece of his hair out of his eyes, and propped the pillow under his arm to get comfy as he still continued that tortuously slow caress up and down Cloud's side. Cloud's breath hitched every time Zack pet near the top of his thigh, and Zack bit back a silly grin at how ticklish that spot was on Cloud.

Long eyelashes began to flutter open, and Zack placed a small kiss to Cloud's temple, waiting for Cloud to fully awaken. It was still four am, and neither of them had a place to go until at least six am, and Zack thought that if he could squeeze sex in before his usual morning briefing, then today was going to be a fabulous day.

And that was the only thing on his mind as he kissed Cloud on the temple again. Cloud muttered something in his sleep and Zack kissed at that same spot again in response. Cloud muttered again, and nudged his head towards Zack, expecting another kiss and still mostly asleep, and Zack froze. His silly grin faltering as his hand began shaking, as Cloud muttered Sephiroth's name again.

Zack pulled back, away from Cloud, as if he had been shocked with a high level thunder. Alright, Zack. This isn't new. It should be expected, Zack knew, but that didn't stop the sinking feeling that he got as he turned over, away from Cloud, and buried his face in to the crook of his elbow. It wasn't that he had a lot of room to do that either. SOLDIER issued beds were only made for one person, and maybe that was just Zack's fate. Zack nearly let out a soft snort at that thought, Cloud making an unhappy noise in his sleep at the loss of the affectionate contact and grasping now at the thin sheets instead, especially since Sephiroth had at least a queen sized bed in his apartment – and it wasn't like that got much use.

Oh yeah. Zack would give up a lot of things for Cloud to reciprocate his feelings. It almost physically hurt, to feel this alone and as Zack's breath evened out and he slowly started to slip back to sleep, he imagined a world where Cloud hated Sephiroth, and Sephiroth was no longer a hero.

Months later, in the cold mountains of Nibelheim, as Zack was thrown from the catwalk of the mako reactor, he could only give a grim, twisted smile at the turn of events – the corruption of a hero. As he lost unconscious and awoke to Doctor Hojo running greasy hands over Cloud's battered body, a territory that should have only belonged to Zack, Zack felt nothing. Years later, Zack carried his comatose friend though the wild landscape. As Zack lay dying, Cloud was crying at his side with blood streaking pretty cheekbones, and Zack just let him know that it was okay – Cloud was a good friend.

And when he shut his eyes for the last time, and his lungs stopped trying to take in soft breathes of air, he was dead when Cloud fluttered long eyelashes, wet and clumpy with tears, against still-warm skin to breath in to an ear three words that Zack never had a chance to say while alive. Reciprocity was a bitch.

Thanks for reading! I just really wanted to write a sad Zack/Cloud story. I hope it was okay and and enjoyable to read.


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